Of My Life
by FantasyBasedReality
Summary: Post Monsters of Men. Finally. That's what Viola said. It may have been the beginning of Todd & Viola's relationship but it certainly wasn't the end. Read about the fall outs, the make ups and the drama of their relationship until it really is, finally.
1. The Beginning of My Life

Chapter 1

The Beginning of My Life

{Viola}

"_The Noise is a man unfiltered, and without a filter, a man is just chaos walking."_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Pathways' End  
><strong>__**Spackle Tent  
><strong>__**5:37pm**_

I HAVE NEVER been so exhausted and yet so determined to fight the comforting sensations of sleep in my entire life.  
>So, here I am waiting and waiting and waiting and more goddamn waiting, for a boy who practically died two months ago to wake up.<p>

Sounds strange, right? I think so. No matter how many times, 1017 or the Sky or whatever they bloody call him, tells me the medicine of The Land can save him, an image of Todd's life disappearing in my arms whisks away even the slightest bit of hope.

And yet, Ben can still keep hoping, no matter how many times I shoot him down with obvious facts, he always says, _"He'll pull thru Viola, he'll come back to us."  
><em>  
>I want to believe it. I really do.<p>

Because my heart keeps breaking.

Because my heart keeps breaking every time I look at his lifeless body.

I sigh heavily and close his mother's journal before pulling my feet up onto the chair and wrapping my arms around the book.  
>My eyelids begin to droop as I rest my head on the back of the spackle chair.<p>

What's the point in fighting it?

Todd's noise hadn't made a murmur all day and honestly, I was really hoping that I would dream of him.  
>Sighing once again (this has become a really bad habit for me), I close my eyes and let my mind drift into a deep sleep full of laughing and very-much alive Todds.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Viola?<strong>_

_**Sleeping**_

_**Ben?**_

_**Ain't here**_

_**Hurts**_

_**Been shot**_

_**1017?**_

_**Shot me**_

_**Son of a-**_

_**Viola?**_

_**Viola?**_

_**Ain't waking up**_

_**Ma's book**_

_**Reading to me**_

_**Can't read**_

_**Shut up!**_

_**Viola?**_

_**Exhaustshun?**_

_**Sick?**_

_**No**_

_**Viola?**_

_**People?**_

_**Noise**_

_**Too much noise**_

_**Viola ain't waking up**_

_**Scared**_

_**Shut up!**_

_**Viola?**_

* * *

><p>I could feel myself slowly drifting out of the dream, being torn away and shoved back into the harsh reality of a world where Todd ain't waking up.<br>But, what it that?  
>That sound.<br>It sounds like Noise.

_**Viola?**_

_**Ain't waking up**_

It sounds a lot like Todd's Noise. Warm, sleepy and just so like Todd.  
>I want to see him.<p>

_**Viola?**_

_**People?**_

_**Noise**_

It sounds afraid, confused and unsure. But it's definitely Todd. I know it is.  
>My Todd.<p>

_**Scared**_

_**Shut up!**_

_**Viola?**_

And my hearts beating so fast I can hardly breathe. But-

I don't want to hope.

I don't want to see that it's not real.

Oh, please.  
><em><br>Please _let this be real!

And, I open my eyes.

And I hope.

And I see something.

Something I know _so_ well.

And I hear something.

Something I've longed to hear.

It's him.

Awake.  
><em><br>Alive.  
><em>  
>Todd.<p>

_**Viola**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hi! As you know this is my fanfic Of My Life. I hope to write some really entertaining chapters that are just packed full of Todd & Viola fluff and maybe some good drama! Got to have a bit of drama, haven't we? Now I know my first chapter isn't very long but I hope it still inspires people to read more. I'm really trying to capture the characters of Todd and Viola but I'm not sure if it went well or not :/ Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! And Todd is awake! YAY!**

**Words that are in:**

_Italics _and quotation marks are when someone is speaking.

_Italics _and **Bold** is Noise

{Viola} - Person's point of view

**CBurgy96 x**


	2. The Explanashuns of My Life

Chapter 2

The Explanashuns of My Life

{Todd}

"_Knowledge is dangerous and men lie and the world changes, whether I want it to or not."_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Pathways' End  
><strong>__**Spackle Tent  
><strong>__**7:24pm**_

SHE AIN'T gonna stop staring at me. Ever since she opened her eyes, they ain't left my face, not never.

"_Yer can tell me if there's something on my face, yer know." _Viola jumped a little when she heard me speak. I don't blame her, even I was a little shocked to hear how hoarse and broken my voice sounded.

Well, I guess that's what yer get for being practically dead for... I don't know how long cuz Viola ain't told me nothing yet, just been staring at me.  
>I reached up and started runnin' my hands over my face cuz I have to admit that being stared at for over half an hour is making me just a little bit conscious. I looked up at her, only to find her eyes still fixed to my face.<p>

Has she even blinked yet?

"_Will yer stop that! It's creeping me out!"_ I reached out to grab her wrist but she had already thrown her arms around my neck, nearly making me collapse in a heap on the floor.

"_What took you so long?" _Viola whispered into my shoulder, causing a shiver to race down my spine.

She wasn't crying. But, believe me; if yer didn't know Viola very well, then you'd probably believe that she was crying.  
>Cuz her voice contained such pain and happiness that even one the toughest guys on New World would find it hard not to drown in their own tears.<br>And, even tho my stomach is probably six feet under the ground already and there's a huge ass lump in my throat, I don't even have the strength to say sorry.

I have so much to say to her. So much that I'm speechless. And it reminds me of something I said before, something I said when I barely even knew Viola.

_Yer can't say everything, so yer don't say nothing._

* * *

><p>"<em>Two months!" <em>I shouted slightly too loud.

Viola was sitting next to me, her head resting on my shoulder and her hand entwined with mine. She exhaled softly.

"_Yes. The new settlers landed not long after...you know. And then I've just been waiting for you to wake up. Believe me Todd, a lot has happened in two months." _She patiently explained to me with a slight tone of exhaustshun.

I've already told her to get more sleep about ten times but she keeps refusing and saying that she doesn't want to miss one moment with me before the new settlers come and snatch me away.  
>I want to ask about Ben but I'm too afraid. Afraid that maybe something happened while I was asleep.<br>What if another war broke out?  
>What if 1017 attacked him like he did to me?<br>That son of a-  
>And I find myself worrying so much that my stomach is hurting.<br>And my Noise must be full of terrifying images of what might have happened to Ben.  
>Cuz Viola is squeezing my hand and beginning to talk again.<p>

"_Ben is doing fine. Great, in fact. All the new settlers respect him a lot and really take his opinion into consideration. The Sky is cooperating with him as well so building an inhabitable town is fairly quicker than it would be with just men. But, I have to say that even though you can't tell from his Noise, Ben has really missed you Todd."  
><em>  
>And I can feel my throat closing up, cuz I know what it feels like when you think you've lost someone. And I've had that feeling way too many times.<p>

"_Todd, the new settlers are really anxious to meet you. They think of you as-"_

_**A Hero.**_

I stop thinking.  
>I stop breathing.<br>Cuz its Ben.  
>It's effing Ben.<p>

* * *

><p>Viola is still sitting next to me. But this time, I have Ben sitting on the other side. His hand resting on my shoulder reassuringly. He probably thinks that if he ain't keeping contact with me, I'm gonna disappear.<p>

_**I've nearly lost you before, I ain't losing you again.**_

Ben's Noise is still has clear as ever. Pulsing thru my mind like the ring of a bell. Which reminds me, why ain't my Noise like Ben's? The same thing happened to me right? I died and then the medicine of The Land saved me.

_**Yeah, I've been wondering about that too.**_

Viola shifts a little next to me before leaning forward to look at Ben.

"_Do you think it's because of the Mayor? Like, the Mayor taught Todd how to control his Noise and use it like a weapon. Maybe it's because you never really tried to silence your Noise, that's why it's so free and clear now."_

I froze up a little when Viola spoke of the Mayor, cuz to be perfectly honest, I ain't really thought about him since I woke up. Viola's grip tightened on my hand as she read my Noise.

_**I'm not sure. I was thinking that maybe it was cuz Todd just don't wanna have Noise like I do.**_

Ben tilted his head a little to look at me. And I looked away. I had to. Cuz I know what Ben said was true. Viola was finally able to read me without my Noise and I didn't want anything to change.

But it did.

It did.

Everything changed whether I wanted it to or not.

_**But it didn't change, Todd. You're still you and your Noise is still the same as before.**_

But, it did change. The new settlers are here, waiting for me. Waiting for me to step out of this goddamn spackle tent with a gleam in my eye and a spring in my step and my Noise crammed with knowledge and my voice full of enthusiasm and a whole bunch of ideas that are supposed to make their futures here a whole lot brighter.

I just woke up not two hours ago for God's sake!

Why me? Isn't Ben a good leader? And his Noise is a lot clearer than mine, not to mention a lot politer.  
>I ain't no leader and I'm as sure as hell I ain't no hero neither.<p>

_**Yer a pretty good one from what I've heard.**_

I saw Ben look at Viola out of the corner of my eye. Viola had the decency to look away when my Noise had gotten a little tinge of red in it.  
>Ben sighed quietly and stood up before kneeling down so he was looking into my face. He opened his Noise for me. And I gasped a little at how much love was in it.<p>

_**Oh, how you've grown.**_

_**My son.**_

_**You're awake.**_

_**I've missed you.**_

_**I believe in you.**_

_**Our salvashun.**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hi again! I apologise for taking so long in writing this! It's just been so hectic this week and OMG IT'S BEEN SO HOT! It's like September and it's 28 degrees and IT'S THE UK! Normally it would be endless rain by now! So, yeah, as you now know, I don't like the heat and it's made it incredibly hard to write :/ But, it's here now so I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try extra hard next week to get the next chapter out sooner so please forgive me :) **

**CBurgy96 x**


	3. The Questions of My Life

Chapter 3

The Questions of My Life

{Viola}

"_There's hope at the bottom of the biggest waterfall."_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Hewitt Town  
><strong>__**House of Healing  
><strong>__**6:54pm**_

Hope. I've sure heard that word a lot in my life. Everyone seems to be full of it. Bursting at the seams because of it.  
>And, yet I'm empty.<br>I haven't got a shred of hope within me.  
>Because even now, even though Todd is awake. I'm not by his side and he's not by mine.<p>

I stepped out into the cool air and turned to shut the doors of the House of Healing. This is where I worked for the time being. Again.  
>Some of the new settlers who were frozen have had some side effects and needed medical attention, while some of the patients were just injured from building. Not to mention those who were still severely injured from the war.<br>Other than attending to patients, I didn't really have much else to do.

Todd was helping the new settlers build the town (which was ironically named after him). He also helped some of them deal with their Noise and learn to calm and control it. Other than that, I didn't know much else. Because Todd just never seemed to be around.

And it was really starting to hurt.  
>The absence of Todd was starting to create a hole in my heart.<p>

I carried on walking towards a loud crowd of Noise and as I rounded a corner, I could make out about thirty people seated around a warm, shimmering camp fire.

Seven o'clock every evening, a council would gather together and discuss about building, farming, what technology we should and shouldn't keep, and many more things that I don't really give a damn about at the moment. The main caretaker families would attend as well as those who played a huge part in stopping the war and the Mayor.

Ben.  
>Me.<br>Bradley.  
>Wilf.<br>Lee.  
>But no Todd.<br>No hero.

And no one seemed to notice. No one seemed to care that the main guy, the important person, the 'hero' just wasn't there.  
>What happened to all the fuss and commotion they made when Todd left that tent? What happened to the never-ending, roar of Noise full of praise and admiration?<p>

And I can't stop replaying that moment in my head. The moment when Ben smiled down at Todd.  
>Todd the Hero.<br>Todd the Saviour.

And my heart clenched painfully when I heard those words in Ben's Noise.

_**Our salvashun.**_

Because I knew.  
>I knew that I was going to lose Todd.<br>My Todd.

And it seemed like I was the only one worried. The only one kept in the dark.  
>And it's <em>so <em>painful.  
>Because this hole in my heart just keeps on getting bigger.<p>

Is it any different than New Prentisstown? Is it any different at all?  
>Me and Todd are still kept apart. I'm once again stuck in a goddamn House of Healing and Todd is still doing manual work.<br>But it feels like I'm the only one struggling.  
>I'm the only one fighting.<br>Because I'm as sure as hell that the smile I see on Todd's face through the House of Healing windows is genuine.

Laughing, joking, smiling away, while I'm stuck wondering what the eff it going on. He was the one who wanted to be together after the war. He was the one who wanted to forget about it all and a start a new life.  
>I just never thought he would be starting that new life without me.<p>

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I gave up and didn't bother asking questions. Because I did. I asked so many questions that I can't remember half of them but you can bet your life that they were all about Todd.  
>I shamelessly begged and pleaded Ben to tell me what was going on. But, he told me nothing. Just said, that Todd has a few jobs to do and that he'll be quite busy for a while.<p>

Was that supposed to comfort me?  
>Was it supposed to stop me from wondering and asking questions?<p>

Because this goddamn hole in my heart isn't going to stop me from hurting.  
>It wouldn't be so bad if I knew that Todd was hurting just as much as I was. It wouldn't be so bad if he turned up at the meetings once in a while.<p>

Because even as I draw closer to Ben, who's sitting on a log with an empty space on either side, I have to look away. Because I know that if I keep torturing myself and this hole in my heart keeps getting bigger, I'm going to be six feet under the ground with a heart that ain't working.

So, even as I smile at Ben when he says hi, even as I probe his guarded Noise for something to slip out, the pain is gnawing away at me.  
>Little by little.<p>

I sit beside Ben and listen silently to the other council members. Not taking any of it in. Hoping that tonight after the meeting is over, Ben might actually tell me something.  
>But, then I remember.<br>What has hope ever done for me?  
>No matter how many times I think about it. Those times that me and Todd went to hell and back. Hope ain't the thing that brought us back. Nor was it our promises.<p>

Because tonight, I'm sitting here once again without Todd.

And it will probably be the same the next night.

And even though I want to believe in Todd, 'I ain't never leaving you' seemed like a forgotten, bitter promise.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, hello. Surprised? I am. I'm really surprised that I managed to write and upload this so quick :O It's probably because of the really supportive reviews I'm getting, so thank you very much for reading my story and spending your time on reviewing. And it may be the fact that I stayed up till 1am on a writing rampage :P Anyway, I thought that this chapter is kind of deep and really immersed into Viola's thoughts and it's not because I was half asleep while writing this, I just wanted to know how Viola would be without Todd instead of Todd without Viola like in The Ask and The Answer. And, you might be thinking that Todd is kind of mean at the moment, but trust me; in the next chapter I'm sure you'll forgive him :D**

**CBurgy96 x**


	4. The Gift of My Life

Chapter 4

The Gift of My Life

{Todd}

"_Being a leader is making the people you love hate you a little more each day."_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Hewitt Town  
><strong>__**Ben's House  
><strong>__**10:15am  
><strong>_**  
>So, how is everything going?<strong>

I looked up at Ben, who was leaning against the wall. Ben has been asking me a lot of questions lately and complaining about Viola. He says that if I don't hurry up, Viola might just throttle him and get the answers out of him that way.  
>I don't blame him for wanting me to hurry up.<br>Viola ain't someone yer wanna mess with when she's angry.  
>But, not when he's asking me every goddamn minute of the day. From when I'm eating my goddamn breakfast to when I'm getting my goddamn pyjamas on.<p>

_**I'd like to remind yer whose house yer staying in.**_

"_I know, I know. Can't yer just lay off with the questions for a bit?"  
><em>I turned back to my now sodden cereal and sighed. Ben grabbed a chair on my right and sat down facing me.

_**Well?**_

Didn't I just tell him to lay off with the questions? Damn, I loved Ben but, seriously? I know that nobody really knows how long 'a bit' is but I'm pretty sure it ain't two seconds.

"_Everything is goin' fine. The foundayshuns are up and the brickwork is nearly done. Happy?"  
><em>I finished with a sarcastic tone. I ain't a morning person.

_**Not in the slightest. Cuz it ain't gonna stop Viola from killing me, it is? **__**C'mon, can't I just tell her what yer doing?**_

My Noise flared up with a million **'NO'**s and Ben nearly fell off his chair from the force of it. He quickly put his hands up to say okay. I'm not angry at Ben. I can never be angry at Ben. It's just that, I want to keep this gift a secret until her birthday. Cuz I want to make this the gift of her life.

But, I get the feeling that she's getting the wrong idea. Maybe it's the glares she gives me out the House of Healing windows when she thinks I'm not looking. The ones that make me just a little scared (Shut up!).

Thru out the day, I can't stop trying to sneak little peaks at her. Cuz I miss her. I miss her so much that sometimes I just wanna throw this big idea of giving her an amazing gift away, just so I can return to her side.  
>And, I think she misses me too. Maybe it's the way that she mopes around and looks like a dead person.<p>

_**Yeah, she is looking pretty lifeless nowadays.**_

Damn, I forgot Ben was here.

_**How cruel.**_

* * *

><p>Building with the new settlers ain't as bad as it sounds. They're kinda interesting to talk to, what with them living on a ship or being frozen for most of their lives.<br>But, yer still get the ones who think yer a liar and that I didn't do nothing to save their lives or give em' a war free world.  
>Well, I guess I wouldn't really wanna have to worship some scrawny lookin' thirteen year old kid either.<p>

I placed the hammer I was using down on the floor before wiping the sweat of my forehead.

"_Yoo ready for tonight, Todd?" _

I turned to the direction of the familiar voice to see Wilf looking at me with his usual friendly smile on his face.

"_Yeah, I think all the stuff we need is already on the cart."_

He gave me a small nod before returning to his work. I listened quietly to his Noise. I always liked Wilf's Noise. It was always so carefree and happy.

_**Todd's a nice guy  
><strong>__**Jane  
><strong>__**Horses  
><strong>__**Cart  
><strong>__**Stuff we need  
><strong>__**Viola's house  
><strong>__**Todd**_

I quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard Wilf's Noise. But, everyone was still talking and building and laughing and being Noisy. I gave a sigh of relief and picked up the hammer again.

Yer know, new settlers are really happy. Is it because they found the world where everything is a lot brighter? Is it because I stopped this world becoming like their old one?  
>I wonder, is it really that happy to find a place that's so new, so foreign, so different to what they're used to?<p>

"_It's terrifying." _

I was so startled that I swung around too fast and hit my head off something metal. As my vision began to clear, I looked up to see Bradley with a concerned expresshun.

"_Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."_

I waved my hand at him to say I was okay. I didn't have the strength to talk yet (Shut up).  
>Bradley didn't say anything so I chose to look into his Noise, not rudely tho and he didn't seem to mind.<p>

_**We're relieved that you saved this place  
><strong>__**Everything so new  
><strong>__**So different  
><strong>__**How long are you going to take?  
><strong>__**Viola's waiting  
><strong>__**Todd**_

* * *

><p>It was nearly seven and I was running late. I should be away from here by now. Viola could walk past any minute and find me and I definitely ain't gonna let her follow me.<p>

"_Yoo ready, Todd?"_

Wilf called to me as I lifted the last crate of bricks onto the back of the cart.

"_Yeah, that's everything!" _I called back.

But, just as I was about to jump up next to Wilf, a voice I didn't recognise shouted out to me. And it was someone who ain't got no Noise.

"_Hey!"_

They had an incredibly annoying and girly voice. Which (Thank God!) meant it wasn't Viola. I turned around slowly, to see a rather short, thin girl twisting her dark blonde hair around her finger. She was standing in a rather awkward way which she probably thought was supposed to be attractive. She looked about my age but anyone could mistake her for being a few years younger.  
>Well, at least I came to one conclushun, I didn't like her.<br>Not one bit.

"_I'm Steph. Steph Taylor."_

Just the way she said her name, told me she was a spoilt brat. It sounded like she expected me to get on the floor and kiss her effing feet! This girl was already pissing me off.

"_Hi. I'm someone who doesn't give an effing damn."_

I turned my back on her and went to climb onto the cart.

"_I'll tell Viola where you're going!"_

Damn. I looked over my shoulder at her. Her eyes seemed to be glistening with mischief.

"_What do yer want?"_

She gave me a rather evil smile.

Crap.

* * *

><p>This ain't happening. This AIN'T happening!<br>Damn girl won't leave me alone. I really wasn't expecting her to ask to come with me. And, now we're walking along the silent road. I told Wilf to go ahead, in hope that she might change her mind when she finds out how much she's gotta walk.  
>But, no.<br>This girl has to be stubborn.

"_THIS girl has a name you know!"_

I covered up my Noise quickly. It's been awhile since I've been with someone who ain't got no Noise and I can't read her like I can read Viola.  
>I sigh. Cuz I ain't got no plan, have I?<br>I need to get rid of her, if she finds out what I'm doing she might tell Viola.  
>And then I spot my saviour.<br>The woods.

"_So, what were you going to do out here anyway?"_

I smiled a little as my plan was forming in my head.

"_Oh, I was just goin' to take a walk, in those woods."_

I pointed to the trees lining the dense woods. I looked down at Steph to see her screw her face up at little.  
>Oh, I hope she's afraid of the dark.<p>

"_Sh-shouldn't you be at the council meeting instead?"_

Excuses ain't gonna work on me!

"_I could ask yer the same. I heard the Taylor's are a caretaker family."_

I replied coolly. She whimpered at little as she kept her eyes focused on the woods. The animals weren't as loud as I expected 'em to be but I guess it makes it all a little bit creepier.  
>I felt her hand cling onto the back of my t-shirt as we got deeper into the woods.<br>I stopped.

"_It's a little cold so yer wait here why I go get some fire wood."_

I heard her yelp as she jumped to grab my arm.

"_Y-y-you're going to leave me here? O-on my own?"_

I wanted to return her evil smile from earlier, but that would probably give it away so I just gave her a rather stern look.

"_Don't worry, yer'll have the animals."_

* * *

><p>It is kinda freaky in these woods. Even more so now it's 3am. I wonder if she's still there.<br>And, to my surprise, she is.  
>Curled up in a ball.<br>And, for a second I feel a bit guilty. Cuz she reminds me of Viola. Silent Viola who sat rocking for ages.  
>But, it's only for a second.<br>Cuz when she spots me, she's jumping on me and wailing and calling me her hero.

What an idiot.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know, I'm a douche bag. Because, once again my chapter is late. But, I did have two essays to complete as homework this week and they were on some of the most boring subjects in the world! So, you can imagine that I wasn't exactly a happy bunny. And, I think it's kinda wrong to vent your anger out through writing so it took me quite awhile to write this. But, I did have a laugh when writing this, as when I was checking for mistakes, I noticed that I had missed the 'r' out of 'T-shirt' ^^ Anyway, on this chapter we do have a new girl, Steph Taylor, who you may or may not know because Patrick Ness A.K.A The Master Himself, wrote a short prequel to The Knife of Never Letting go, called The New World. It's only like 23 pages long but what the hell, it was written by PATRICK NESS! So, yeah, Steph Taylor is actually a character in that short prequel. But, you can probably guess from reading this chapter that she is a bit of a bitch :D I hope that next week I'll be able to upload the next chapter qui-**

**No, wait, I'm not gonna make any promises just in case some nasty teachers give me 50million more essays to do just to spite me :'(**

**CBurgy96 x **


	5. The Nemesis of My Life

Chapter 5

The Nemesis of My Life

{Viola}

"_It's not how we fall. It's how we get back up again."_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Hewitt Town  
><strong>__**House of Healing  
><strong>__**6:43pm**_

"_Oh, whoopee. First people to see a deserted mudhole. First people to die there more like."_

I shot up panting heavily, wincing a little at my stiff neck. Ugh, I fell asleep on the desk again. And, one more thing to add to my misery, Steph bloody Taylor's voice was ringing through my head. With that little giggly laugh and a scoff that sounds like she's being strangled. Oh, I wish I was the one strangling her.

But, why was I dreaming of her?

I have to admit that I haven't seen her that much. Not that I want to. But, the fact that I've had the pleasure of having this much time without having to endure her relentless torture is rather surprising.

Maybe, she's finally found a new toy to play with.

Well, I have had to watch her flip her hair around during the council meetings. But, I guess I should be grateful that I wasn't one of the poor buggers eating a handful of her hair every time it was whipped in their face.

Even though, I get the sweet, sweet luxury of staring at her face caked in two inches of makeup every evening, I still don't get to see my Todd.

"_Hey, happy face."_

I jumped a little has my thoughts were interrupted by a male voice. I could feel my heart in my throat-  
>But, it was Bradley.<p>

"_I'm not a child, Bradley."_

I snapped in annoyance. I heard Bradley sigh as he walked over and stood beside me.

"_Well, you're certainly acting like one."_

I could feel my face getting hot and I was quickly getting irritated with him.

"_I'M the one acting like a child? Who are the ones running around, playing the little game called 'Keep the secret from Viola'!_

Bradley's Noise was calm. His face stoic. It's not fair, why am I the only one getting worked up? Why is it that I STILL don't know where Todd is?  
>My eyes were stinging from the tears in my eyes and my heart was aching so much that it was becoming incredibly hard to breathe.<p>

"_Nobody is playing games, Viola. You're just frustrated, because Ben ain't telling you anything. We're not against you, none of us are."_

Although, I didn't want to. And, trust me, I really didn't want to.  
>I smiled.<br>Just a little.

Because, polite, formal Bradley ACTUALLY used the word 'ain't'.  
>And, athough it makes my heart ache because it reminds me of Todd, I still smiled.<br>And, Bradley smiled back.  
>Whether he did it on purpose or by accident, I didn't really want to know. Because, for now, I feel happier.<p>

Bradley ruffled my hair a little before turning to walk away.

"_Bradley!"_

He stopped and turned around. He had a questioning look on his face.

"_...Thank you."_

I looked away quickly, but as I slowly peeked at him out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a smile.  
>A smile I knew I could always count on.<p>

* * *

><p>Once again, I found myself walking alone towards the usual meeting place. As the nights get ever colder, I'm finding myself walking quicker towards the welcoming heat of the fire and Ben's warm arm wrapped around my shoulders.<p>

If only it was To-

I shake my head to get rid of my thoughts.  
>I quicken my step and breathe out heavily, staring at the little puffs of white smoke coming out of my mouth.<p>

If only I could see him just once...

"_I'll tell Viola where you're going!"_

I stop.

A voice.  
>A voice that makes my blood boil.<br>A voice that brings back unpleasant memories.  
>A voice I definitely don't want speaking my name.<br>The voice of Steph Taylor.

What is she talking about?  
>Who is she talking to?<br>Why would she threaten someone using me?

And I know.  
>And it's killing me.<br>Because there is only one person whose location I don't know and desperately want to know.

Todd.

And I'm running.  
>And I'm hoping.<br>And I'm running.  
>And I'm hoping.<br>And, it's all I can do.

Because my throat is stinging because the air is cold, so I can't shout.  
>Because it might be Todd, so I can't breathe.<br>Because my mind is a mess, so nothing is making sense.  
>All I know is that he might be there.<br>And even though MIGHT is the key word, I ain't going to stop running.

Several dirt roads later, I turn a corner. THE corner. The corner that could make or break me and-

And my stomach is falling to pieces.  
>Because all that's there is the vast, open blackness laid out before me.<br>On the floor, there are some cold, mocking cart tracks engraved in the dirt.

And, the night got a little colder.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hi guys! I was a little quicker at uploading this time, right? I'm proud :D However, this was a little shorter than the last chapter but oh well I'm still proud. Steph is still a gigantic, super, huge ass bitch in this one but I guess that's what makes it just a little more interesting ^^ I wrote another rather depressing chapter, didn't I? I'm sowwy :( But I did try to make up for it with a bit of sarcasm at the beginning. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**CBurgy96 x**


	6. The Annoyance of My Life

Chapter 6

The Annoyance of My Life

{Todd}

"_And you, you need to talk to your boy. And if he needs saving, then you save him. Isn't that what you told me you did for each other?"_

"_Over and over again."_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Hewitt Town  
><strong>__**Ben's House  
><strong>__**10:34am**_

I didn't think it was possible to suffer from depresshun from not seeing a certain someone for over a week.  
>Not seeing Viola is really taking it outta of me.<p>

And, there's the fact that I'm not really getting that much sleep considerin' I have to leave a little earlier in the evenings to escape a certain ruddy girl.  
>And trust me, that girl ain't giving up soon.<br>Not only is it annoying but it's also painful. Cuz she reminds me of Viola. Just a little tho.  
>I'm not talkin' about the incredibly winey voice or the stuck-up attitude.<br>It's that goddamn perfect accent without the abbreviashuns and that silence that tugs on my heart a little.

But, I need to remember; it ain't that way with Viola no more. I've come to treasure and find comfort in her silence. A silence that's like a blanket on a cold winter's night.

This girl's presence was becoming such an annoyance in my life that it made me, kinda wanna...punch her.  
>And, that's what makes me hate this girl even more. Her looks and personality can't even touch Viola's, but this girl made every goddamn minute painful.<p>

This girl, was making it a little harder to breathe.

* * *

><p>I already knew she was coming. Her overpowering scent made me wanna sneeze and preferably in her face.<p>

"_I can hear you, you know_." She snapped.

When she reached me, she snatched the hammer I was using out of my hand and began twisting it with her fingers.

"_Oh, God. What do yer want this time?" I groaned._

This girl is really enjoying taking advantage of me. Ugh, if I only I left her in those goddamn woods. But, no. Kind-hearted me, wouldn't do that, now would I?

"_This girl, that's all I ever hear from you! My name is Steph!"_

I rolled my eyes and snatched the hammer back off her.

"_I don't like yer name, it leaves a horrible taste in my mouth when I say it. I wonder why?"_

She glared at me and once again forcefully took the hammer from me.

"_And here I was thinking of helping you..." _She whispered too close which made me take a step back.

I scoffed and almost laughed in her face.

"_You? You help me? Yer'll kill us both! And, would yer stop taking the hammer off me? I need it when I can't tolerate yer no more!"_

I tried to yank the hammer off her but this time she held on to it tightly. She stepped back a little as she tugged harder.

And, then she did one more mighty tug and stepped back quickly to balance herself. Her foot caught the bottom of a solid plank of wood, causing it to topple forward.

Stupid girl.  
>Stupid <em>effing girl.<em>

I pushed her roughly out of the way, not giving me enough time to throw myself to safety.

Pain.  
>I could feel it spread across my skull.<br>A blow to the head.  
>I just gotta be a hero, ain't I?<p>

Cuz it was that girl's fault that there was blood trickling hot and sticky down my face.  
>Cuz it was that girl's fault that everything was becoming black.<p>

See?

I told you.

Every _goddamn _minute is painful with her.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>YOU! <strong>__WHAT HAVE YOU EFFING DONE!"  
><em>I heard someone scream and they don't say 'effing', now do they?

I could feel the corners of my lips tug into a small smile.  
>Cuz, yer know what I can hear?<br>Silence.  
>A silence I know all too well.<p>

_Viola._

She was crouching down beside me, her cold, soothing hand gently touching my head.

"_What do you mean, 'what have I done'? He was the one who jumped in the way."_

I could hear panic in the girl's voice, but more so annoyance.  
>These two must of met before. I could tell by the poison in their voices.<br>And, _thank God_ Viola didn't like her.

"_Yes, but if you hadn't distracted him from his work and began playing tug 'o' war with him, he wouldn't be in this state!"_

I felt another pair of hands grab my wrist and try to pull me up. I groaned loudly as I began to feel sick.

"_DON'T TOUCH HIM! You have no right to! Just go already, Steph! I know what I'm doing."_

The hands abruptly let go and I could tell with my eyes closed, that if I wasn't half conscious, these two would be doing much more than glarin' at each other.

"_What's wrong with you? Are you in love with him or something?"_

I could feel my cheeks go a little warm and I really wish I could say it was cuz I just got hit in the head with a plank of wood.  
>Viola remained silent but I felt her hand grip mine.<br>And, I think my heart just burst.

Eventually, I heard the girl's footsteps. Viola placed her hand on my back and slowly lifted me up. She knew I was awake, cuz my hand was gripping her's incredibly tight.  
>I felt her breath on my neck as she whispered in my ear.<p>

"_Take my advice, Todd. Most of the time, that girl just ain't worth saving."_

Even tho, I was injured, I could sense her happiness. And, I knew it wasn't because she just got to scream at that annoying, selfish piece of crap that's _supposed_ to be a girl.

She was happy, cuz I was here.  
>Right here within reach.<p>

And, I feel exactly the same.  
>And, I'm still covering up my Noise with a lot (and I mean <em>a lot) <em>of insults about Steph, just to hide my gift from her.

But, right now, I'm happy.  
>And, she knows.<p>

So, I don't say nothing, just continue holding her hand like I ain't never letting go.

And, she wraps her arms around my middle.

Wrapping them around me like a blanket.

Just like her silence.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello :) Now, I have to say, that I do like this chapter. I think I was grinning the whole way through it because my cheeks are hurting now ^^ And, my family probably think I'm strange cuz I was saying "awww" while imagining it in my head. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. And, yay! They finally got to see each other again! But, now that this nice, exciting chapter is written I've got to do a ton of homework :( I wish I was in primary school again where I hardly got any homework but then I guess I wouldn't be able to write this story ^^ AND, THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE A CHAOS WALKING FILM! THERE IS A LINK TO THE ARTICLE ABOUT IT ON MY PROFILE!**

**CBurgy96 x**


	7. The Wish of My Life

Chapter 7

The Wish of My Life

{Viola}

"_Hope may be the thing that pulls you forward, may be the thing that keeps you going, but that it's dangerous, that it's painful and risky, that it's making a dare in the world and when has the world ever let us win a dare?"_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Hewitt Town  
><strong>__**House of Healing  
><strong>__**11:03am**_

I stared at him as he ate his porridge. Every now and then he would peep at me out of the corner of his eye and then quickly avert his eyes back to his breakfast. He wasn't that badly injured. Didn't even need stitches. But, that didn't stop him from being unconscious for a day.

"_Problem?"_

Todd asked as he clattered his spoon in the now empty bowl.

"_Hm?"_

I gave him a questioning look as he continued to wait expectantly.

"_Yer staring at me. Again."_

I could hear the humour in his voice as he recalled the same situation in the tent.

He sure is calm, considering it's the first time we've really spoke to each other for over a week. But, I couldn't doubt the happiness that had been radiating off of him yesterday. The way that he completely relied on me to support him as we headed towards the house of healing.  
>Without a second's hesitation, he'd allowed me to save him.<p>

But, just as my mind was swimming with joy, that disgraceful, irritating, sorry-excuse-for-a-girl ruined everything.  
>I can't believe that she kept getting in Todd's way! Playing stupid little games. Well, at least she wasn't giggling away like a manic murderer on helium.<p>

"_Viola?"_

I lifted my head up to see Todd leaning towards me, his hand resting on my arm.  
>I searched his Noise. I wanted answers.<br>Answers to questions that have been building up over the last few days.  
>But, Todd had become so much better at covering up his Noise.<p>

At this crucial time, why couldn't I read him?

**Viola?**

**Something is wrong**

**Is it my fault?**

**Viola?**

**I'm sorry**

"_Sorry for what?"_

I asked a little breathlessly. I wasn't going to let him slip through this one.  
>I could see the worry in his face. His mind quickly trying to think of a reply.<p>

"_Sorry for...err...making yer worry?"_

I glared at him because that was definitely not the response I was looking for. I need to know what he's been doing!  
>He fiddled with his hands as he escaped my gaze.<br>Looks like I'm going to have to give him a head start.

"_What are you doing every night?"_

He coughed a little. Yep, that was definitely the question he didn't want me to ask.

"_I'm sure Ben has already given yer an explanashun..."_

Ugh, why couldn't he just tell me straight?

"_Then why is Steph constantly hanging off your arm?"_

He won't look at me.  
>I want him to.<br>If I can't read his Noise then I want to at least be able to read his eyes.  
>Look at me.<br>_Please!_

"_She's the one who keeps following me..."_

He turned to look at me.  
>I knew just from looking into his eyes that he wasn't lying.<br>And, well it wasn't hard to deny that he had a certain dislike for Steph, what with insults constantly oozing from his Noise.  
>But, it can't stop the anger that burns within me every time I see her fawning all over Todd.<p>

I wonder as I look at him, has he missed me as much as I have missed him?  
>I want to know.<br>I want to be with him.

I can hear his Noise slowly opening up.  
>His walls slowly crumbling down.<br>And, I can see him.  
>I can see my Todd who doesn't hide anything from me.<p>

His Noise gushing out and surrounding me in a cascading waterfall of thoughts and images.  
>Making it harder to breathe.<br>Because it's right there.  
>The secret I want to know.<br>The secret I _need_ to know.

But, just before I drown in his overflowing Noise, he pushes me out.  
>And, I was so close.<br>So close to obtaining the cure for my pain.

But, he had already realised how close he was to revealing everything.  
>So he hid away from me.<br>Leaving me reeling from the pain, the irritation, the longing that had been thrown at me all at once.

"_A-are you jealous? Of Steph?"_

What?  
>My cheeks felt hot as I stared at him.<br>I stood up quickly and headed for the door.  
>Todd's voice faint in my ears as I walked away.<p>

"_Viola? Viola!"_

Me? Jealous? Of Steph?

I certainly hope not.

* * *

><p>I avoided Todd for the rest of the day.<br>If he needed treatment or food I would purposely use my status as Head Healer to get an apprentice to attend to him.

It's strange, right?  
>I've been bitching and moaning for ages about how much I wanted to see him, but now that he's here within reach, I'm avoiding him.<p>

Am I being too immature?  
>But, even if I'm annoyed at him for saying that I'm jealous of Steph, the fact that he still won't allow me to know what he is doing is gnawing away at me.<p>

It's nearly 7 and you can guess where I'm going.  
>As I arrive at the familiar location, I look at the faces staring at me.<br>It's the same faces every night.

But, before I decide to sit down in my usual spot next to Ben, I realise something is wrong.

I can't see blonde hair flicking annoyingly side to side.  
>I can't smell an overpowering, sickeningly sweet scent.<br>I can't hear a giggling, excruciatingly unbearable voice.

Steph ain't here.

My heart clenched and my stomach dropped.  
>Because I know where she is.<br>With the person I should be with.

I turned on my heel and began walking quickly in the direction I came from.  
>No need to think about it.<br>I just know that I've got to be there, not here.

_**Viola? Viola!**_

I got a sense of déjà vu as Ben called after me.  
>I never realised how much Todd and Ben were alike.<p>

But, like before, I did not stop nor turn around.  
>I kept walking.<br>Walking and walking until I reach the House of Healing.

It was silent there.  
>No sound.<br>I didn't like that.  
>Not one bit.<p>

I push open the unusually heavy door.  
>I walk towards Todd's empty bed.<br>I run my hand over the still-warm covers.

And I wish.

I wish that he will always be beside me.

But, he's gone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! I apologise for not uploading recently but I have been on holiday for 2 weeks so I hope you can spare me :) I'm a bit neutral about this chapter. It's definitely not one of my favourites yet it's not one of my worst. Oh well, I'm awkward anyway so I don't care ^^ Hope you enjoyed it anyway ;) **

**CBurgy96 x**


	8. The Admirers of My Life

Chapter 8

The Admirers of My Life

{Todd}

"_It's not that you should never love something so much that it can control you.  
><em>_It's that you need to love something that much so you can never be controlled.  
><em>_It's not a weakness.  
><em>_It's your best strength."_

_**New World  
><strong>__**Hewitt Town  
><strong>__**House of Healing  
><strong>__**6:58pm**_

_I'm sorry, Viola._

I opened the door and stepped out into the cold, lonely night.  
>I curse myself as I walk away.<br>Cuz I wanna go back.  
>I wanna jump back into that warm bed. Curl up beneath the covers. Wait and wait and wait.<br>Until I hear Viola come back.

She's been ignoring me all day. It would be a lie if I said it didn't hurt.  
>But, this plays to my advantage.<br>I'm a pretty bad liar and let's face it; I would have nearly told her everything earlier if I hadn't blurted out the jealous thing.

For a second after I'd said that, I regretted it straight away.  
>My heart went cold when I saw her back.<br>As tho the words, "Leave me alone", were scrawled across it.

I blew at my frozen hands.  
>Stupid cold.<br>Viola's hands are warm.  
>I wish I cud be holding her hands right no-<br>Ugh, shut up!  
>Damn it, Todd. Focus!<p>

I ain't gonna give up.  
>If it's for Viola, I'll do anything.<p>

"_Todd!"_

Oh God no!  
>I began to run as I heard my name fall from a girl's lips.<br>I cudn't be Viola!  
>How cud she find out that fast?<p>

My head began to pound as my wound ached.  
>The footsteps were getting closer.<br>The air was getting colder.  
>My heart was racing faster.<p>

_Go back, Viola!_

I don't want to run from her anymore.  
>I don't want to leave her alone.<p>

But, the gift!  
>Only a few more months!<br>That's all I have to endure.  
>For her I'd...<p>

_Step_

_Step_

_Step_

What the hell is going on?  
>Is the world moving slower or is she just tryin' to kill me with the tension?<p>

_Step_

_Step..._

Silence.  
>So she stopped, huh?<br>I guess this is the moment where I turn around and she slaps the crap out of me.

I swallow loudly.  
><em>Be a man, Todd.<br>__If yer can face three armies then yer can ruddy well face a slightly terrifying girl._

"_Vio-"_

I stared at the girl before me.  
>I began to back away slowly.<br>Cuz to be perfectly honest, I'd rather face a pissed off Viola with a knife than this..._ thing._

"_So, you've become a runaway?" _

I stared at her.  
>Her dirty blonde hair.<br>Her dull, blue eyes.  
>Her long, spidery eyelashes plastered in thick clumps of black.<p>

This ain't my Viola.  
>How cud I even mistake her for Viola?<br>Viola was an angel compared to Steph who was like a pile of shi-

"_HEY!"_

"_What?"_

She glared at me and then seemed realise what she was doing, so she attempted to put on an apologetic face (which in my eyes, looks exactly the same as her pissed off face).

"_Look, I know I'm not exactly on your favourite person list at the moment, but..."_

She never was anyway. In fact, I was kind enuf to make a whole new list just for her.  
>I believe it was called the Bitch List.<p>

"_But, I guess, I really just want to be with yo-"_

"_**STEPH!"**_

My eyes automatically shot towards the House of Healing to see an enraged Viola marching towards us.  
>I looked down at Steph. Her face was contorted with her smug smile.<p>

Seriously, if Viola ain't here to kill her then I ruddy will.

"_Why did you have to interrupt us? Me and Todd were getting pretty close, you know."_

Yep, I'm gonna kill this effing girl!

I glanced over to see Viola's reaction. Her face seemed more composed as she came up close to Steph's face.  
>I heard a quiet whisper laced with poison escape Viola's lips.<p>

"_**He's mine..."**_

My heart leapt to my throat as Viola pulled away with a smug smile of her own.  
>Steph stumbled backwards as she attempted to obtain some space.<p>

But, it wasn't long before Steph was standing straight with her usual confidence.

"_Oh? Doesn't that sound a little strange coming from a girl who hasn't even attempted to get close to him?"_

I saw it.  
>I actually saw it.<br>A fire within Viola's eyes igniting.

Oh, yer betta run Steph...

As tho it was happening in slow moshun, Viola's hand rose above her head and then struck Steph's face with a strength I definitely didn't know she had.

"_YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!"_

Steph reeled back from the pain but tried to slap Viola back before I grabbed her wrist.

"_Stop. Just go..."_

She looked up at me and I noticed how red her cheek was.  
>I nearly felt sorry for her before I remembered that she was about to hit Viola back.<p>

I gave Steph a small push and eventually she began running towards the Council meeting locashun.  
>No doubt her ma and pa will know about this.<p>

"_Todd."_

I looked at Viola to find her still fuming.  
>Wait. She wasn't thinking about slapping me, right?<p>

"_I'm not going to let you keep avoiding my questions. And neither am I going to ask politely. Tell me what you are doing."_

My throat seemed to close up at that exact moment.  
>Lucky me.<p>

Viola grabbed the neck of my shirt and pulled me towards her.  
>Damn, why is she so scary today?<p>

I could smell her scent.  
>It wasn't anything like Steph's.<br>It was clean, natural and just so...Viola.  
>She tugged on my shirt to show her impatience.<p>

What am I goin to do?  
>Should I tell her?<p>

But, I wanna wait till her birthday.  
>I want it to be the best present she will ever get.<p>

"_Can't yer wait a couple more months?"_

"_No."_

Damn.  
>Why did she have to answer so quickly?<p>

And, that's when I decided.  
>Maybe she is not the only one who wants the secret to be revealed.<br>I'm tired of avoiding her.  
>Bradley has to lie to her.<br>Ben is afraid of her.

I just wanna be with her again.

I wanna tell her.

I'm going to tell her.

Was she controlling me?

Was she able to control me cuz I love her?

No.

I loved her too much to be controlled.

This is my decishun.

My will.

"_Fine, I'll show you my secret."_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hi people :) I know I have been uploading later but that's because I'm trying to think of ideas. I do have a plan but it kinda ran out after chapter 6 or 7 so when I'm writing, I'm improvising so it takes quite a while cuz I change my mind a lot :/ So, anyway, next chapter you should find out what Todd's prezzie for Viola is! Yay! Even though you probably already know because I have thrown a few hints in here and there and they are pretty obvious (oh well). I hope you enjoyed this chapter cuz I enjoyed making Viola slap Steph ;)**

**CBurgy96 x**


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